Coming out of the bathroom, I was retying my apron. She was walking to the bathrooms. Her smile was so large that I thought maybe we could go spelunking and use it as illumination, the way it was gleaming in the dim light. You know, hold her aloft to light the way for us intrepid explorers, and such. Whatever. You have weird thoughts sometimes, too.
Me: You are Nancy Pelosi.
Nancy Pelosi: Yes I am.
Me: (slowly, and kind of creepily) N a n c y P e l o s i.
N.P.: Yeesssss. (smile dims significantly)
awkward silence
N.P.: Thank you for cooking tonight. It was delicious.* (smile looking very strained, as if her face might soon crack)
Me: Yeesssss.
This is where she went into the bathroom, and I realized that I am the reason everyone gets a security detail in Washington, DC. What the hell is wrong with me? At the very least I could have been like “Big ups for Balmer, Nanc! How's those grandkids treating you?”.
Instead, with a slow yeesssssss, I ensured I am placed on an FBI watch list.
*It was not. I clearly remember thinking political parties will eat anything and be happy as long as it is accompanied by booze.
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2 comments:
OMG I USED THE SAME TOILET AS NANCY PELOSI!!!
I love this story. It's better than what I would have said, which would have been "sheeeee-itttttt". I think that's what i said when i let her cut in front of me at roland's to buy bananas and milk.
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