07 July 2006

Less than impressed.

Verizon Customer Serivce Agent: Hi! I'm insane and from some call center in Buttneck Creek, Arkansas! How you'all doin' today! Can I have your little ol' phone number and account number!!?

Me: Uhhhhhhhh... (momentary pause while I adjust to the fact I will be doing business with one of the Clampetts)

VCSA: No?!?! Well that's just a little bit of somethin'! Do you have your phone number?! I can look up that cotton-pickin' account number!

Me: That would be great. 202-829-5555.

VCSA: That's great! Now while your account loads, let's talk about your cellular phone! Is that with Verizon?

Me: Let's not talk about my cell phone. Let's just answer the questions I have about my bill.

VCSA: But is it? Is it with Verizon? What about it's service quality? Can you hear a pin drop? (I'd like to point out that she pronounced pen with two-syllables. Does she drink her moonshine out of a clay jug with three x's painted on the side? Yes, yes she does.)

Me: Look, I just called to remove this crappy option you talked me into when I signed up for broadband service. I don't even know what it does.

VCSA: Well, there's no reeeeeee-son to get annoyed.

Me: Well, I do get annoyed.

VCSA: Yes, you do.

Me: Excuse me?

VCSA: All I wanted to do is talk about your cell phone! And here you are grumpier than a hog in a desert!

That's when I hung up, stared at the phone for a full five minutes in disbelief, then took a hefty pull off my flask of whiskey.


MB said...

Keep up the fight. Last week I got a free pair of shoes and a free pair of underwear by yelling at different servants of the man. Pretty soon I shall have a whole free outfit.