29 January 2007

Steaming Piles of Excrement

I can't believe it's been so long. I am the worst blogger ever. But whatever. This post is of earth shattering importance so I am sure it was worth the wait.

The movie John Tucker Must Die, totally and completely, uncategorically, with out reprise from it's intense crappiness, sucked.

Had he kept his shirt on I would have turned it off immediately. But he did not.

Shocking, I know, but the boyfriend, not pictured here, loves the teenage movies. The Mean Girls, The Hot Chick, the Bring It On (and of course, the Bring It On, Again ). We haven't yet seen Bring It On: All or Nothing as of yet but trust me; it's inevitable. Why did this movie offend the Badger so very much? Let me explain. If these movies have any redeeming value at all, it is that they are intensely bad, and they know that. The Hot Chick knows it's not an after-school special. No one learns anything. Lindsay Lohan tries to learn things in Mean Girls but we laugh at her because in real life she has chosen to be a coked-up whore which makes everything she does hilarious. She's so stupid. Also, I love to watch cheerleaders get hit by buses/cars/falling fruit/security guards.

This movie gets a "steaming pile of excrement" rating, my lowest yet. Except for Spy Kids 3, which I had to watch TWICE on a transpacific flight. It gets "two steaming piles of excrement".


Anonymous said...

Well, although the boyfriend objects to the visual comparison to Sununu, the idea here:


is one he can get behind. I mean, really, why hasn't my greatness been recognized yet?

Coach said...

Hiring that actor to do teen movies robs us all of his natural talents. He was clearly meant to do gay porn.