19 March 2007

Weather Forecast for this Week:

I hate March. It is even worse than February. February is a dirty whore and all, but at least she admits it. March: the blond sorority girl of months. You think she'll be pretty, but really she is a husk of a woman filled with empty Pabst cans.

Forecast for this week:

High 6000º Kelvin, Low 2º Above Absolute Zero.

Periods of Hurricane Gale, whipping thought that cheap cardigan you thought might be thick enough for such a fickle day, interspersed with periods of calm sunshine,which will trick you out of killing your self with whiteout, paper clips, and the LAN cord from your computer. Don't be fooled. It's not worth it.

Snow, changing into rain, changing to a free for all of summer-esque bacchanalia, changing to bowling ball sized hail. Stay inside.

Safe, predictable, grumpy wintertime contentment will be shoved to the side for faint rumblings of springtime joy, which will be crushed again by a plunge into the mid twenties, followed by more snow. I urge you delicate-types to not look out the window until April.


english guy said...

I know, it's the same here too. Hasn't the northern hemisphere started to tilt towards the sun yet? Who broke physics?