08 June 2007

Basement Living Round-Up

Yee Haaaw Cowboys! I'm ready for a drink! And it's not even three pm yet!

Here's how Craphole 17, Turdcave 18, and Apartment 19 turned out.

Craphole 17? It was pretty much a crap hole. It did have one redeeming feature that I totally loved: the open sump pump well. I mean, really, what else would I want behind my refrigerator if it wasn't an open hole in the ground through which flood waters poured? I know! A hole full of water that has an ancient ELECTRIC PUMP in it! I can't wait to grab the refrigerator door one morning while making coffee only to be electrocuted, which would of course short out the pump, which would cause my apartment to slowly fill with water, floating my lifeless corpse out onto 13th Street. Where do I sign?

Turdcave 18. OK, I am being over dramatic here. There were no turds in this cave. In fact, someday it might make a very nice evil laboratory for an evil genius. A 4'11 evil genius.

Apartment 19. This apartment was one of those apartments that is a fake out basement. When the agent turned down the steps, I almost beat them to death with a rolled up copy of the Post classified. I'm glad I didn't. The ceilings were of a good height, the front room was pretty big and had two large windows at the end that let in a lot of light. They are in the process of laying new tile through out. The bedroom and the kitchen were both pretty good size, although the kitchen had a strange angle to it. And there were blessed closets. The apartment was still in remodeling mode, meaning the tile work wasn't done yet and the bathroom and kitchen were pretty filthy. But this place has potential. And here in lies the problem with apartment hunting for two, solo. The boyfriend has seen two apartments. Wait, no, make that three now. I have seen nineteen. I think I can safely say that I have a more realistic grasp on what our price constraints will procure. We saw apartment 19 separately, thus, the following conversation. Apologies to J, who, even being a picky bastard at times, is really the love of my life.

SB: That was a pretty good place, don't you think? Lot's of light!
J: Well, I turned all the lights off and it seemed pretty gloomy.
SB: Well, it has a window in every room, and there are a lot of shade trees in the back yard, so it's not direct sunlight.
J: Still, seemed not very welcoming. So dark.
J: Plus, I am not sure about all that tile work. White tile? Yuck.
SB: It's better than the brown linoleum underneath it, right?
J: Hmmmmm.
J: It's just hard to tell. I am sure we'll find something better.
SB: No, you mean *I'll* find something better for the both of us.
J: Yeah.
K thx bai!