07 August 2007

Update: Fighting the Man

So the investigators at the Office of Human Rights are really great. They are very supportive, but not hesitant to call a spade a spade. I told my story and the investigator said there was more than enough questionable behavior to begin an investigation. Next step: mandatory arbitration.

Uhhhh, mandatory what? I thought that some justice squad swooped in and did some poking around to see if these people really hate fags, or if someone else swooped in with better credit and whiter teeth. And if it turned out that they don’t like boys who kiss boys, then I thought they would get a fine, and maybe be required to wear baggy, pleated dockers for the rest of their lives. That, my dear readers, is wrong.

I am supposed to go into a room with them and an impartial arbitrator and ask them to give me “restitution”. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? What am I supposed to say? “Gimme back the twenty hours I have looked for a suitable apartment since viewing this one?” “Gimme a big cookie from the mall and a six pack of Coors?” “Gimme a bucket of fried chicken and a new apartment?”

The mind wobbles.
Uhhh yeah, can I get that with some justice? No? What about biscuits? Ok, I'll take the biscuits.


MB said...

Maybe you'll get lucky. I hear sometimes buckets of chickens come with diamond rings inside.

mlf said...

Shoot high. Ask for extra crispy ... and a biscuit.