16 September 2007

Canadian Adventure Update: Shorts

Bus from London to Toronto

How do you shut up Canadians who are talking on their mobile on the bus? Well, it's not by glaring at them. That seems to be most ineffectual.

Richmond Street, London, ON

I walked into a smoke shop in London, Ontario and was blown away by the rows of potting soil, hydroponic equipment, racks of seeds with names like “purple haze” and my personal favorite “the devil's stomping boots”, and racks of dangling grow lights. Also, tie died t-shirts and the requisite hippie behind the counter. Legalization seems to have gone over well in Ontario.

Argyle Mall, London, ON

What is Canadian Wal-mart like? Exactly the same, right down to the over riding nationalism. Just walk into your Wal-mart and replace every reference to America (of which, if you have not already noticed, will amaze you- what exactly does Wal-mart sell to small towns? Patriotism, it seems.) to Canada. It's low prices from province to province: Walmart Keeps Canada's Prices Falling, eh!


It's already fall here. I didn't bring enough socks.

Canadian Tire, Toronto

Canadian Tire sells all kinds of crap, including picnic tables, tools, shoes and cameras, but I didn't see a single tire (Update: I have been informed that Canadian Tire does sell tires, just not in it's downtown Toronto location). Has anyone considered changing the name?

Vomitown, ON

I've had an awesome time staying with my friend and her baby. But damn, babies take a lot of work. Do you have shirts that have been vomited on? No? Well, you can have some of mine. I have plenty. I'll trade you for a full night's sleep. Parents are brave creatures.

On the Bus from Toronto to Ottawa

The man sitting next to me on the bus, who is dressed like a quaker right down to the white beard and broad brimmed hat, just pulled out an iPod. I've heard of buffet catholics, but quakers? “Yeah, well I won't use rubber wheels- those are the devil's wheels, but the iPod- that's God's consumer electronic device.”