16 September 2007

Elmo's World


After spending the week with a baby, I would like to pronounce judgment over something: Elmo rules, Barney drools.


Two year olds have a pretty good sense of humor. It edifies me and warms my heart that babies can find Elmo hilarious. Because he is hilarious; he named his fish Dorothy. Don't even act like that isn't awesome. Also, when he sings songs about things, he just sings any tune, and makes his subject the only word. For example:


The Sandwich Song

(Tune: Old Mac Donald)


Sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich sandwich sandwich!


I do that all the time.


The Severance Pay Song

(Tune: White Christmas)


Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-verance, severance pay severance pay severance pay!

Severance severance severance pay!


Unmitigated kickass-ness.


Also, if Elmo was a ninja instead of a three year old monster, he would have Barney and Friends dispatched with lighting speed in the dead of night. Because Barney is the most earnest, unfunny show I have ever seen. I know that his earnestness is supposed to set a good example for children about how we should always be nice to people, but what it is simply unthinking dullness. People are not always nice. Things in life are funny. And I mean funny, schaudenfraud, laughing-at-you, laughing-at-me, hilarious circumstance funny. Not “Dur Dur Duh! I think I see a butterfly! Chuckle”. I could cut that Barney.



3 comments:

NG said...

I'm reminded of this great sketch from Saturday Night Live. Can't find the full video, but here are clips and a transcript, which you may enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tkix60xjUC8

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93amono.phtml

Princess Amber said...

Hooray!
Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo!
EeeelMO!

xx

MB said...

Barney is banned in our house. FOREVER.