Things that I've done, or, that have been done to me.

I remembered this morning that I have a blog. I was reading another blog and it made me laugh and then I remembered- oh right. There are tens of people out there who are wondering what has happened to me as of late. And so, for my ones of fans who are not related to me and don't already know this, here are the last two weeks, in list form:

Things I Did:

• I painted the apartment with J. Very, very, intense colors. It will take 500 coats of white to return this place to its prior condition. But vive la difference!
• I trapped two mice. They died mysteriously during detention. Investigation pending.
• I scored the highest score in my class at Cheffing School on my first practical and theoretical examination. Hurray!
  
• Before school, I would read at least one book a week. Currently, I have been reading Nigel Slater's Toast for a month now. So far, it's great. I have been trying to read Hosseni's A Thousand Splendid Suns because my sister-in-law wants to talk about it and because it will piss off some of my friends. I'm looking at you, Princess and Arjewtino. Just a word to the wise, not liking something because everyone else liked it is the stupidest form of snobbery. Love with kisses!
• I drove too fast.
  
• I changed the oil in my car. Well, let's be honest. I paid someone else to do it.
• I pillaged IKEA and then, it had its way with me as I tried to assemble its seductively modern furniture.
  

Things Done to Me:

• I was given a speeding ticket. Thanks Maryland!
• I received a strange handwritten note on my car windshield that was most definitely not for me, as I do not know who Patricia is, and I never took the key's from her baby daddy last Sunday when it was raining.
• Safeway's new self-checkout lane charged me 999.99/ lb for red peppers. I was given a significant discount when the mistake was discovered, and good laugh was shared by all. I waited until I was out the front door before I cursed their incompetence.
  
• Chef hit me on the ass with a cutting board. I think he was kidding, but much like an abused puppy I flinch every time he picks anything up.
  

Mustache update to follow.