09 July 2008

Wherewithal, The Not Having of It.

I've sat down to write a blog post about fifteen times in the last six weeks, but at each attempt the screen sits there, an unblinking eye, and I end up slowly backing away and turning it off.

Actually, I click to some other place the requires less work, like facebook, or gawker, or one of the many fine places to see boys with out shirts on.

To that end, I have decided that in order to be able to write, I must summarize what has been happening. This is also why I am bad at writing letters or keeping a diary. I feel the compulsion to ensure the stories are continuous. I present the last two months, in telegram form.

SISTER GRADUATED FROM UNIVERSITY WENT HOME WAS NICE FAMILY IS TOO MUCH SOME TIMES STOP

NEPHEW Q BORN VERY CUTE BUT LOOKS LIKE ANGRY POTATO RIGHT NOW NIECE K IS VERY FUN AND CUTE BROTHER AND SISTER-IN-LAW DOING VERY WELL THANK YOU NOT HAVING ANY MORE KIDS EVER STOP

TURNED 31 WENT HIKING ATE CRABS DRANK BEER EXCELLENT DAY WAS HONESTLY TOO TIRED TO CARE ABOUT GREATER IMPLICATIONS WILL SOMEDAY REFLECT ON LIFE BEING SAND THROUGH HOURGLASS ETC STOP

WORK GOING WELL SPEND 60 PLUS HOURS A WEEK THERE SO IT BETTER BE GOING WELL LEARNING A LOT SOMETIMES WISH FOR A WEEK AT THE BEACH STOP

SISTER DECIDED RECENTLY EARNED DEGREE NOT WHAT SHE WANTS FROM LIFE WILL BECOME DIESEL MECHANIC NOT REALLY SURE WHAT THAT MEANS BUT SHE SEEMS ECSTATIC SO I WILL BE ECSTATIC FOR HER STOP

WENT TO FOLKLIFE FESTIVAL LEARNED ABOUT BHUTAN DID YOU KNOW THEIR ONLY VEGETABLE IS THE CHILE THEY MUST SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THE JOHN AN ANCIENT AND INTERESTING CULTURE STOP

BIKE GOT STOLEN BOUGHT NEW ONE FOR MANY A DOLLAR HAD A FIGHT WITH BOYFRIEND ABOUT PROFLIGATE SPENDING OF MY OWN MONEY WAS STILL WORTH IT BIKE IS AWESOME STOP

LEANNE RIMES ATE AT RESTAURANT HAD A SALAD FELT BRIEFLY CONNECTED TO THE WORLD AT LARGE THEN GOT BORED WITH IT DANA PERINO THE PRESS SECRETARY FOR PRES BUSH CAME IN TO EAT THOUGHT ABOUT RUBBING HER FOOD ON MY BALLS BUT DIDNT BECAUSE I TAKE SOLACE IN MORAL SUPERIORITY STOP

LACK OF PUNCTUATION ANNOYING AND NOT CONDUCIVE TO STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS STYLE OF WRITING WHERE ARE MY BELOVED COMMAS AND SEMICOLONS STOP

5 comments:

Lemmonex said...

Everyone should stop at two kids.

MB said...

NOT TRUE! Some of us should stop at one. (Raises hand.)

Princess Amber said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Princess Amber said...

Ah Badger. Nice to have you back. I had an attack of the telegraphs last week too COMMA only I used far more punctuation ENDASH I just wrote it out instead EXCLAMATION MARK It was quite enjoyable for a while COMMA but I agree COMMA totally unsustainable in the long term STOP

The King said...

What craphole deleted their own comment from MY BLOG before I got to read it! I am going to write an angry letter to blogger.