25 September 2006

L'Shana Tovah!

This last Friday was Rosh Hashana. Never having celebrated it before, being goyim, I decided to roast a goose for the Boy Friend and his family. We decided friends should come over, too. It's good to dilute family. I didn't realize until too late that there are many things that are traditional for Rosh Hashana, but goose is not one of them. Oye vey. However, after introspection, I present:


Rules for a Happy Rosh Hashana


  1. Much blowing of the ram's horn is in order.

  2. There must be much, much wine.

  3. Gifilte fish should be made illegal. It looks like cooked snot.

  4. Roasted meats make everyone happy. Even vegetarians, except they express their happiness by looking disturbed. But they are happy.

  5. Dessert. Always serve dessert.

  6. Again- wine.


Happy New Year!

5 comments:

Coach said...

Happy New Year to you.

My boyfriend is jewish too. We should all get together and celebrate Rosh Hashanna... naked.

The King said...

Dude, stalking? That was like soooo 2005. Are you stalking naked? Maybe stalk is the new black.

Coach said...

I love you! I know you love me too! We're so happy together! Can't you see?

Now if you don't mind, I have to finish having sex with the cat.

Ar-Jew-Tino said...

Coach is freaking me out.

SB, you left out one other new Rosh Hashana tradition we shared Friday: spilling, nay, throwing, your wine all over Boy Friend's mom.

P.S. I KNOW it was water you threw, but not in MY version of the story.

Sassenach said...

Are you kidding? Wine is the essential element to ANY family gathering....