Transit Bliss

I missed my flight at the airport and now I am sitting in the bar, wishing malice and destruction on almost everyone around me. But not the bar tender. Who else would bring me refreshing beers? I'd have to get them and we all know that isn't going to happen. I can't believe that I missed my flight. I mean granted, I arrived at the airport like four minutes before the plane left and all, but still. Who do I blame this on? There's a list, like usual.

1.Dulles. That's right, I am starting by blaming the ENTIRE airport. It's in the middle of no where and there is no train.
2.Fat Stupid Woman at Security. She stood there, holding the entire line up as she asked the Transportation Security Authority Officer about every item of clothing she had. “Do I have to take off my shoes? My hat? My puffy coat? My socks? What about my hideous sweater that I found at the bottom of a bargain bin?” Then she proceeded to put through the x-ray machine the following items, each of which caused the entire line to wait while the TSA riffled through her baggage to find the offending item: a full size bottle of shampoo, a liter bottle of Mountain Dew, a laptop, and a jar of honey. I kid you not. A jar of honey.
3.United Airlines. Uhhhhhh, the sign says that passengers must be on board ten minutes before the flight departs. It's twelve minutes before departure, Mr Gate Monkey, and you are informing me that the plane has left and you cannot let me on. The plane hasn't left, my ugly friend. I can see it, It's right there. When I point that out you get offended. Feel lucky that I didn't point out that you aren't moving much further in life.

The frustrating thing is that all around me are flights departing for London, Munich, Rome, Buenos Aires, Johannesburg... places that I would like to go. I'm going back to a square state, bitches. Let me on the plane. NOW.

Flight #6482

Sitting on the plane, learning how oxygen masks may drop from the ceiling in the event of pending doom. Going to Toronto! Going to be great! I heard they have a paved road up there now. Good job, Canada.

I just talked with J. He's on the otherside of the world right now, learning Thai. While I am so happy that technology provides a means that I can call him while also shopping for groceries at Safeway, I feel hollow. I think that hollow feeling is me missing him. Alot. He's twelve hours ahead of me. And I'm twelve hours behind him. And that's where we'll be until the end of January.

And I don't like it.

12 behind, and 12 ahead. Fail.

Singularity.

A point in time in which one doesn't quite know what to do...that's my kind of singularity. That's what I've got right now. My boyfriend leaves for Thailand tomorrow and I feel kind of lost. Directionless. He'll be gone for six weeks, and I guess I have to remember what it's like to not have a partner. I mean, it's not like he died or anything, but still.

It's going to be quiet in here.

I'm Taking Over the World

I started a business today. It took like five minutes. I started doing some consulting work, and since I can't afford liability insurance, I decided to hide behind a corporate shell. Hurray laissez faire capitalism! No, for serious: appearantly, in America, by signing my name to a peice of paper, I can kill children as long as I do it as a representative of my fake corporation.

I can't believe that in the same city that cancelled my driver's license for no reason at the drop of a hat allows someone to set up a corporation in, seriously, five minutes on the webbertubes. Click, print, write a check and guess what? I'm the CEO of Square State LLC. That's right.

C. E. O.

I plan on taking a ridiculous compensation package and then getting bailed out by the federal government. Hurray!

Oh hai.

I forgot to mention that I am two timing. I am posting at this other site sometimes... this week is a tale of one man's fight against Latrice.

You'll love it and stuff.

Go here.