Things I Did:
- I painted the apartment with J. Very, very, intense colors. It will take 500 coats of white to return this place to its prior condition. But vive la difference!
- I trapped two mice. They died mysteriously during detention. Investigation pending.
- I scored the highest score in my class at Cheffing School on my first practical and theoretical examination. Hurray!
- Before school, I would read at least one book a week. Currently, I have been reading Nigel Slater's Toast for a month now. So far, it's great. I have been trying to read Hosseni's A Thousand Splendid Suns because my sister-in-law wants to talk about it and because it will piss off some of my friends. I'm looking at you, Princess and Arjewtino. Just a word to the wise, not liking something because everyone else liked it is the stupidest form of snobbery. Love with kisses!
- I drove too fast.
- I changed the oil in my car. Well, let's be honest. I paid someone else to do it.
- I pillaged IKEA and then, it had its way with me as I tried to assemble its seductively modern furniture.
Things Done to Me:
- I was given a speeding ticket. Thanks Maryland!
- I received a strange handwritten note on my car windshield that was most definitely not for me, as I do not know who Patricia is, and I never took the key's from her baby daddy last Sunday when it was raining.
- Safeway's new self-checkout lane charged me 999.99/ lb for red peppers. I was given a significant discount when the mistake was discovered, and good laugh was shared by all. I waited until I was out the front door before I cursed their incompetence.
- Chef hit me on the ass with a cutting board. I think he was kidding, but much like an abused puppy I flinch every time he picks anything up.
Mustache update to follow.
